Family
by Frankie McStein
Summary: Answers the question, 'why does Doyle never talk about his family' WARNING-Deals with death


Disclaimer- As always I say it. The characters in this story are not mine and, much as I would love too, I don't own them.  
WARNING- This fic deals with death of family members and if that upsets you then don't read it. You have been warned, don't blame me if you weren't paying attention.  
  
Family  
  
  
Three days off, guaranteed. As soon as he got home he called his parents to let them know.  
How bout I come up and see you all?  
Better idea, we'll all come down and see you. Then you can show us all around London.  
All right then.  
Why couldn't he learn things never work out that well?  
* * *  
  
  
C'mon Ray! A couple of pints followed by a couple of barmaids. What's more important than that?  
My family's coming down.  
Oh. Didn't know your family was still alive.  
Doyle grimaced.  
We're not usually on good terms. They don't like the idea of their baby boy running around playing with guns.  
  
Bodie laughed.  
It's just your parents then?  
Nah, my sister'll probably come too and that means Fred'll coming too.  
  
My soon to be brother in law. They're getting married in a couple months.  
  
Bodie just nodded and stayed quiet. Bodie never spoke about his family, didn't even have any pictures of them, not that Doyle had seen. He wished he knew what had happened between Bodie and his family, but knew better than to try to push the issue.   
  
Bodie seemed content to sit in silence and so Doyle turned his thoughts to how he was going to avoid arguments when his family came down the next day.  
How could he have known that it wouldn't be necessary?  
* * *  
  
  
He fumbled for the alarm clock for a while before realising it was the door bell ringing.  
he muttered, reluctantly swinging his legs out of bed. Oh well, I was going to get up in another half an hour anyway.  
  
By the time he had reached the door he had convinced himself it was Bodie, come to tel him Cowley had cancelled their leave. He had a speech all planned out in his head, instead, he found himself looking at a police man.  
  
  
Mr. Doyle?  
That's right.  
I'm sorry to bother you sir but there's been an accident. May I come in please?  
Of course.  
  
Doyle let none of the fear he was feeling show on his face. He recognised the line from his days in the Met.  
  
Sit down.  
Thank you. I'm afraid there's no easy way to tell you this sir. Your family...  
Doyle dropped the cup he had picked up, not noticing when it smashed.  
They were coming down to visit me.  
  
He felt the young policeman's discomfort and looked over at him, determined to act rationally for his sake. There would be time to fall apart later.  
Did any of them survive?  
Yes sir, your mother. The doctors are doing all they can but. she's in a bad way. Would you like me to drive you to the hospital?  
Doyle only nodded, not trusting his voice.  
* * *  
  
  
  
I'm here Mum.  
A weak smile flittered across the woman's face.  
I'm sorry Ray. We were all looking forward to seeing you. We've had a lot of fights about your job, but I hope you realise how proud we all are of you, how proud we are of what you are doing with you life. I hope you know that.  
  
I know. I never doubted it.  
Another smile, more feeble, quickly dampened by pain.  
Yes you did, every time we started talking about it. But we love you Ray, and we were always proud of you. Always.  
Doyle couldn't speak. Hard as he was trying to stop them the tears were trickling down his cheeks. All he could do was tighten his hold on his mother's hand.  
I'm happy Ray, she whispered, her breathing laboured. That job of yours is going to get you killed and I don't want to outlive my children. No parent should have to outlive their children.  
  
Doyle recognised his mother's favourite argument for his leaving CI5 and for the first time, he heard the love that was hidden behind it.  
he started, but she held up her other hand to stop him.  
she whispered, no more talking, there's nothing more to say. I know you love me and now you know I love you and that I've always been proud of you. Don't ever doubt it again Ray. There shouldn't ever be any doubt surrounding the truth.  
  
Her voice stopped, her eye's closed, her hand went limp. Doyle watched, helplessly, as the woman who had held him as he took his first breath took her last, and left the world she had brought him in to.  
  
The machines surrounding the bed went haywire and doctors and nurse came running, but Doyle had seen death enough to know there was no hope. His mother, like the rest of his family, was dead.  
  
Doyle lurched to his feet suddenly, eyes fixed on his mother's still face. Ignoring the questions of the nurses he stumbled from the room and collided with Bodie who'd been hovering outside the room. Doyle looked at him blankly.  
The local police called the Cow, he said, by way of explanation. Doyle made no response and Bodie recognised signs of shock in his partner.  
  
He wrapped his thick leather jacket around his friend's narrow shoulders and then dropped an arm around them as well.  
C'mon sunshine, let's get you home.  
* * *  
  
  
Thought you had a date.  
Bodie poked his head through the doorway.  
What's that?  
I thought you had a date.  
Yeah well, something came up.  
Doyle didn't respond and Bodie ducked back in to the kitchen. It was a sign of how hard his family's death had hit him that Doyle was letting Bodie in his kitchen unaccompanied.  
What did you think? He'd just shrug it off? Unlike you Doyle had a bond with his family.  
  
Not any more.  
Bodie spun round to see Doyle standing in the doorway, unaware that he'd said his thoughts out loud.  
They're all dead. You can't have a bond with the dead. Unless your a psychic. How about it Bodie? Can you put yourself in to a trance and tell me where my family are? Are they at peace in heaven? Or are they being tormented in hell because of their affiliation with a murderer like me? Well? Tell me!  
  
He was shouting, throwing his arms around and Bodie was truly worried he would hurt himself.  
I'd tell you if I knew Ray, he said quietly, hoping as hard as he could that he could reach his friend. To his relief, it worked.  
  
  
With that, Doyle sank to the floor, his whole body trembling. With one stride Bodie was by his side and quickly wrapped his arms around his friend. He didn't say anything, just sat there, holding him, letting him know he wasn't alone.  
It was almost an hour later when Doyle finally stopped shaking and looked up at him.  
What am I going to do Bodie? he whispered. They've always been there and now... now they're not. How do I cope with that?  
  
He didn't seem to be expecting an answer and Bodie had none to give him. Silence overwhelmed them again as the two friends sat together on the kitchen floor, seeking and giving comfort through the physical contact.  
  
I don't know what to do, said Doyle, his voice finally starting to regain some of it's strength. Do I phone a lawyer, an undertaker, their friends? I've never had to arrange a funeral before, Ive caused plenty but I've never had to arrange one. I want them to have the best, they damn well deserve the best, but how do I make sure they get it?  
  
Don't worry about it Ray, answered Bode, glad he could finally offer his help, that's what's friends are for.  
* * *  
  
True to his word Bodie took over all the funeral arrangements for Doyle's family. He spent a lot of time with Doyle and it became usual for him to spend the night at Doyle's flat instead of his own. The night after the accident Doyle had woken up screaming after dreaming of his family covered with worms and maggots, and begging for him to save them.  
  
The two men had quickly decided that cremation was better than burial and so, not long after, Bodie found himself sitting next to a very pale Ray Doyle in a church full of people he didn't know, watching as the family of the best he had ever had was committed to flames.  
  
Doyle didn't stay long afterwards, he only talked to a few people and Bodie was more than happy to leave too.  
Who were all those people? he wondered out loud, not expecting an answer.  
Friends of the family, Fred's family and a lot of their friends too. A couple of the people were from the Met.  
Were they the ones you talked to?  
Yeah. I'm not interested in the friends and Fred's family never seemed to keen on me.  
  
Bodie listened as Doyle poured out the story of his first meeting with Fred's family. This in turn led to stories about his sister and finally, about hs family as a whole. Bodie never interrupted, references to unexplained events remained unexplained as Doyle continued talking. Bodie wasn't sure if it healthy or not, but he could tell that Doyle needed to tell it to someone and, deep in his heart, he was glad Doyle had chosen him.  
* * *  
  
Doyle spent the next two weeks on compassionate leave alternating between anger and depression until Bodie decided he had spent too long indoors.  
Macklin's agreed and so has Cowley.  
Agreed to what?  
Even Dr. Ross has said it's a good idea.  
What's a good idea?  
We're running through the assault course tomorrow, starting at 6:00 and finishing when we feel like it.  
  
Bodie ignored the look of shock and disbelief on Doyle's face.  
It'll get you out of the house and get you a decent amount of exercise.  
  
No arguments Ray If your not there by 6, I'll come round here and carry you there. The Cow's given me his key.  
So saying he walked out to spend a night in his bed instead of on Doyle's couch.  
* * *  
  
When Bodie got to the assault course the next morning Doyle was already there, attacking a punch bag in the gym. Bodie walked over to join him and they sparred with each other for a few minutes before Bodie gestured to the assault course.  
C'mon Ray. Macklin even set the window up for us at the end.  
All right.  
  
The two men covered the course slowly several times, sliding down the ropes instead of swinging on them, saving the window.  
said Doyle after they had jogged through the course for the fifth time. Straight through right?  
  
  
The pair took off running, scaling the net rope with ease and speed. They charged through the corridor, slamming in to the dummies as though everyone was threatening their partner. Finally they came to the window. Bodie was surprised when Doyle stopped, but waited next to his partner.  
  
She said she was proud of me, of what I was doing. She said they were all proud of me.  
Then they were proud of you, and still would be.  
I know.  
There was silence for a few moments.  
This is my favourite part of the course. I never minded the training as much as some of the other guys because I knew I would get to do this.  
Bodie grinned, remembering how much he enjoyed going through the window too.  
  
yelled Doyle as he suddenly threw himself off the platform and swung towards the window. Bodie followed and the sound of smashing glass echoed around them. It was joined by another sound, Doyle laughing.  
  
Bodie laughed with him, knowing that his friend was nowhere near healed, but knowing that he had taken a huge step, and sure that he would get there eventually.


End file.
